James had finished his grain, and I was just about done with brushing him to get all his “itchies” out. I paused at the front of his neck, remembering how a few days ago James had said, “It’s OK to grieve me.” He had called me out. He knew that part of me believed I shouldn’t be grieving so much. I still had him, right? But, there was so much wrapped up in not really being able to ride him anymore after his injury. The last 10 years I allowed him to be my world, so it felt like a loss of my identity, a loss of lifestyle, a loss of a lot of things we once did together, a loss of a life chapter. Layered into all that was the resonance field of other lifetimes with him. This was not our first rodeo together on the earth plane. Our connection runs across time and space. Some call it soulmates.
As I thought about his words “It’s OK to grieve me,” the words seemed to float in the shared space between James and I. Then James proclaimed,
“You know I’m not into all that mushy feely stuff,
but I will stand with you.
I will do it for you. For you I will.
Just don’t turn me into one of those pet therapy horses.”
Lol. Oh, James. I always knew he would never tolerate that kind of job. He has always been very sensitive to what kind of energy he liked in his space and what kind of energy he did not. He never wanted to deal with messy energy or too much trauma. His heart is huge, but other people’s stuff is just not his thing. Totally fair.
Yet, he was offering to stand with me in my grief. Just the notion of the magnitude of his gift got the tears rolling. James was quiet and present. So still. Listening. Standing with me. 100%. As I dropped fully into my body and our shared energy, I noticed something that was fascinating. If my energy got even just the little bit clingy, he pulled his body away slightly and guided my energy into my feet. When I stayed fully in my body and let the energy of the emotion flow down through me, he brought his body closer to mine. It was subtle, but noticeable. He was teaching me how to feel and process the energy through my body.
A few words and melody from a song came to mind. I wasn’t surprised, as Spirit often speaks to me through song. But, I never had a song come in with James. It was Jackie Wilson’s Your Love Keeps Lifting Me. I had to look it up later to get the whole song.
“Your love, lifting me higher than I’ve ever been lifted before…”
I kept hearing it, and didn’t understand the relevance for the moment James and I were sharing. I asked James, “What’s the song for?” James replied,
“For you. You think that you have achieved all these things because of me.
But, you made my dreams come true.
You are my destiny. I reached my destiny because of you.”
I was floored. That’s pretty sentimental for James. I was doubting if I had really heard him say that. Seemed out of character. But, James confirmed he was serious.
“It’s true. It’s true.”
I believe that everything is connected and, just as you are saying, that those connections span across time and space. I am so pleased to see that you have moved into a new, and it sounds like an exciting and rewarding, relationship with James, while at the same time rejoicing in what you two shared for all those years. And I am so glad that James made sure you recognized that not only was he fulfilling your dreams, you were fullfilling his dreams as well. And now you are free - and ready - to write new chapters in your relationship, and if what you just wrote is any indication, they will be at least as fulfilling and mayb…